A Homeostasis of Worry

My 3-year old had a tough day at school today.

It’s a new campus with a new bunch of classmates and teachers she doesn’t know and it’s taking time for her to settle in.

We thought she did well yesterday when she walked in and didn’t ask for her Mom until the school was over.

But today was different. She clung to Mommy the entire day, sobbing and whining.

I dropped them off at school slightly worried and couldn’t focus at work. I was constantly thinking how to make her adapt to the new environment.

Then, it suddenly hit me: Why am I so worried about this? Why am I always worried about things that do and don’t concern me?

Paul Graham recently wrote a thread about founders and this particular tweet caught my attention.

Paul Graham @paulg

I think the root of the problem is a phenomenon that extends far beyond startups. There's a sort of homeostasis of worry. People worry a roughly constant amount regardless of whether things are going well or badly. This may work well sometimes, but it's not suited to startups.

“There’s a sort of homeostasis of worry. People worry a roughly constant amount regardless of whether things are going well or badly. This may work well sometimes, but it’s not suited to startups.”

True. And I’d argue that it’s not suited to any human being, let alone startups.

We’re a generation that seems to be on a constant loop of anxiousness over trivial things.

Anxiety and worry have their purpose but we seem to want them to overstay their welcome in our heads.

Why was I worried about my 3-year old crying in school? She is healthy, doing alright and will settle in when she will settle in.

I decided to stop thinking about it (yes, you can “decide”) and focus on writing about it instead (which helps).

After all, if we say “no worries” so much, we should walk the talk and not worry so much.